I’m starting to wonder more and more… If jesus had just left, 2008, died and rose again, then ascended, 2008. No churches, no leadership, just religious folk. Who would be the apostles…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
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Would I? Would you?
Who the freak would have the guts to be a man, stand up, and do what God is saying to do. No wonder they hid away in a room, all huddled together. I am churchified….. I really don’t know how to follow God day in and day out. I get it right, a little, sometimes, but man…. to have no leadership telling me what to do next. Well, oddly enough I’m getting stupid (and desperate) enough to wonder what would happen if I said to hell (bibically, of course) with expectations, and consequences, nothing compares with obeying God and taking STUPID (according to unbelievers) leaps of faith to see God move in, through, and before me.
I’m reading Romans eight times this month, that’s how CRAZY I am. 
Really, even that’s lame…
Seriously, I have a wife and daughter, and family and friends whom I love very much, so to put it all second hurts. But, by God, I hate them all compared to how much I want to love God, who solely deserves my love and obedience. I don’t know what I have to do, but I know that my life is meant for so much more than this. These can’t be just empty words. Will I die for God? Can I live for God?
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